April 26, 2012

It's Not Okay



It's not okay to wake up every day wishing you were some place else.
It's not okay to feel trapped.


It's not okay to despise other people for their happiness, their good jobs or their ability to take a week long vacation.
It's not okay to feel like your job is a dead end street and you're going nowhere fast.
It's not okay to take your stress out by yelling at your husband.


It's not okay to cry in the shower because you can't handle the stress anymore.
It's not okay to question your ability to be a mother.
It's not okay to feel so exhausted that you would rather just lay in bed everyday.


It's not okay smile and pretend that everything is okay.



It's okay to always want more and it's okay to not always look perfect.
It is okay to make time for yourself.


It's okay to tell people that you are failing.
It's okay to go talk to someone about getting help.


And that's what I did.
Can I tell you I feel SO much better?
Although the doctor gave me a prescription for Prozac, I don't think I'm going to fill it.
JUst having someone to talk to and cry out everything has lifted my stress an immeasurable amount.

Do I still have the prescription just in case?
Yep.

Do I think I need it?
Nope.

But it sure felt nice to have someone tell me I wasn't overreacting, that all the stress I deal with in life is really really stressful and now, I can stop doubting myself and know that there's nothing wrong with me, just a lot going on in my life.



4 comments:

  1. Welcome to mommyhood. I have felt all those feelings before and still do. I had a really bad day yesterday so I am completely there with ya....some days I think I could totally use some meds. And it is OK to do that. If we lived closer, I would make you some cookies and have the kids play together and we could sit and vent. :)

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  2. It's also OK to fill that prescription. Take it from someone on antidepressants, that's OK too. And yeah, life gets overwhelming, it's normal to feel this way. Don't let anyone tell you you're overreacting, or tell you to "snap out of it", or anything like that.
    Hope you're feeling better soon :)

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  3. Ditto everything Megg said!

    I by no needs feel dependent on my antidepressant/anxiety meds, but when I don't take it, the stress & anxiety do tend to get the best of me. I'm in a better place when I take it & it makes me a better person to be around. If you have to fill it, fill it & don't feel ashamed of it at all!

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  4. there's no shame in taking medication to help balance you out, worst case scenario, you fill it, you try it if you feel like it, you like it/don't like it, and go from there. you've got a lot on your plate and it's up to you how you want to deal with it :) I hate it when people act like it's so easy to "just stop" being in a crappy place mentally. It's not! Hope you feel better soon :)

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